Crisis…what Crisis?

What is middle age really?

I would have thought I could find a decent explanation of “middle age” by the time I reached it but now that I think I’m there, I’m not really sure I am because I can’t find any definitive information showing that I’ve reached that pinnacle.

There is no solid information available on this phenomenon especially when it comes to men. You often hear about women having a “mid-life crisis” and everyone relates that to menopause…which includes hot flashes and bitchiness. When it comes to men, a “mid-life crisis” usually involves leaving one’s wife/partner, buying a sports car, and having an affair with some Paris Hilton/George Michael type ‘ho’ only to regret it later…or some variation on that theme.

I’ve thought a lot about this lately because I’m not feeling like my usual self. I’ve been feeling tired, bitchy, and uninspired…like a woman in menopause. Sometimes, I’m flat out bored and don’t know how to overcome that boredom or I want to change things like the yard, the house, my car. I want to travel, to get into better shape, to run naked through the neighborhood screaming “The fundamentalists are coming, the fundamentalists are coming!”, but they’re already here… and I just don’t have the energy to run anymore…although my sentences obviously do!

Truly though, I don’t have much energy these days. That’s why I’m questioning this middle age thing. That, and the fact that today is my 45th birthday. I wouldn’t normally think of 45 as middle age but the way I’ve been feeling has brought it to mind. Maybe it’s not an age thing, maybe it’s all hormonal and like menopause, it affects people at different times in their lives and now is my time. I don’t know…maybe I don’t really seek an answer to the question or maybe I’ve already answered it…for me anyway.

What I do know is that today I celebrate my 45th birthday. I get to celebrate my birthday with the man I love and have shared my life with for the past 17 years. I will not buy a sports car. I will not be cruising the park for ho’s and I will overcome this lull.

As for the “mid-life crisis”…nobody in my family has lived past 89 so I guess I’m past middle age and well into my “past-mid-life crisis” and all this was for naught. We’ll see…


8 responses to “Crisis…what Crisis?

  1. Happy birthday, and many happy returns.

  2. Firstly, Happy Birthday! (”,)

    Secondly, have you considered it may just be your biorythms?

    Thirdly, never forget Mae West’s classic line “You’re only as old as the man you feel!”

  3. Holy Crap R! Happy Birthday!! I didnt know! What a horrible friend I am!!!!!

  4. happy birthday, and many happy returns to you, middle age or not.
    I would love to talk to you about what is a middle age ‘crisis’; it is ulimately about looking inward and doing the real work, now you are 40.

  5. Happy birthday: at least you’re not having hot flashes. I hear they’re fun.

  6. well happy birthday! and yes, hot flashes are a freakin’ blast. when the first one came upon me, i had no idea what the hell was happening. it was just a bizarre interior warming starting in my middle and radiating up through my chest. i felt like a radiator. it was one of the strangest things i’ve ever experienced. thank goddess it stops at the neck, so i don’t end up all red faced and sweating like so many women i’ve seen (who knows what’s around the corner, but okay for now) . . . i’ve taken to sleeping with only a sheet when i’ve been cuddled year round with a down comforter for 20 years. mid. life. change. in all of its varieties. my scouts tell me it’s better on the other side. carry on. 🙂

  7. Wow, Happy Belated Birthday. I celebrated my 45th on July 13th! So Again…..

    Happy Birthday to a fellow Portlander.


  8. My definition of mid life crisis for men is as follows.

    It’s when you finally understand most of what life is about, and suddenly it all becomes boring. You become cynical about the huge number of badges and tee-shirts you have acquired. Life is no longer a voyage of discovery, and all you can see from here is where you’ve been and the long trip back down.

    The way out is to re-evaluate everything, re-invent, re-organise and re-motivate yourself.

    However, many men can’t do this because they are burdened with family and career. Hence the crisis, the bikes, cars and affairs!!

    The trick is to realise what’s going on and deal with it.

    Men also have hormonal cycles and mood swings, but being men they just don’t realise it!

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