Monthly Archives: December 2007

Phun Photo Phriday

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But can I get one with extra sausage?

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Party Planning

As I briefly mentioned in my previous post, this is traditionally the busiest week of my year. Not only do I have the usual workload to contend with and the usual holiday preparations at home, this week I have the misfortune of planning the office holiday party. Now, you’d think planning a party would be right up this gurls alley, and normally you’d be right, but this is the office party…need I say more?

To start with, working in academia, we don’t have funds for parties because the NIH doesn’t think food and booze expenditures are good ways to spend their research dollars. I mean come on…what better way to promote good health than a party? Not only does it relieve stress but it loosens tongues and often relieves someone of a job…which saves money and continues to relieve stress by giving everyone something enjoyable to talk about at the office for the next year. But until we can convince the NIH to give up a grand or two for a party once a year we’re forced to rely on faculty donations. Yep, I put those two words in the same sentence and yep, I even put them next to each other so you couldn’t miss your cue for hysterical laughter.

Faculty donations.

You’ll probably never see that combination anywhere else, ever again, ever. Faculty don’t donate…they exchange cash for tax deductible receipts…but they don’t donate. Our junior faculty make no less than 75k a year and the majority make double that amount or more, yet they don’t want to give up $50 to help pay for the paper goods, beer, wine and a ham or two for the party. Oh, did I mention this is a potluck? Yeah…they expect their lab members and grad students to provide the majority of the food. How many grad students do you know that cook? Most of them can barely afford to buy food for themselves on their measly stipends and their expected to bring a dish for a crowd? Helloooo!

Here we are two days before the party and 6 of sixteen faculty members still haven’t given up the cash or even mentioned if they will. I have had a couple say that they weren’t going to make it to the party this year. I guess that means their lab members are on their own. Ungrateful fucks!!

So, I spend this week every year running around trying to stretch the money, buy decent wine, guess what dishes we may need to purchase (since nobody bothers to sign up for the pot luck) and how much beer and soda to buy. I’ll undoubtedly hear how lousy the wine is (what do you expect on a $6 a bottle budget, asshat?), how we didn’t have enough of the right beer, or how many desserts and appetizers there were and so few side and main dishes. But when I bring this up at the next faculty meeting, not one of these dickheads will have the balls to suggest change or larger donations for catering. Oh, they’ll all suggest catering but not one will pony up an extra dime to pay for it. They will however complain that there were no door prizes or gifts for their children. How do I know this? Because we just had this exact conversation three months ago when they decided to return to the potluck format instead of the cocktail party format we’ve had the last two years.

So, I only have two more days before this nightmare ends and I promise I’ll quit bitching because then I get to look forward to MY holiday party which is always fabulous and full of the spirit the holidays should foster. And…I’ll have the best wine!!

Okay…I feel all better now. It’s time to take a percocet and go read my peeps because I miss you all terribly…you make me laugh and I need that.

Have I Got a Tip for You!

We spent Saturday evening lighting our tree so we could spend Sunday decorating. The forecast called for a windstorm to hit early Sunday and since windstorms always result in power outages up here we were happy to get the lights finished. The trimming could be done in the dark light of day and would be the perfect way to ride out the storm. When we finished the lights I decided to throw together a quick snack. This was the result…

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Well…this was the final result…the actual result is far more gruesome than even I wanted to photograph.

I thought it was just the usual careless cut as there was only one drop of blood on the cutting board but once I reached the bathroom and put my finger under running water I was stunned at the reality. Half of my fingertip, nail included, is gone. I kid you not…half the finger tip is gone and I missed the nail bed by a millimeter.

Of course the last place I wanted to spend my Saturday night was at the emergency room so after dousing the wound with hydrogen peroxide and smothering it with Neosporin I wrapped it tight and waited for the bleeding to subside. I waited…and waited…and waited…and finally, the blood quit running out of the bandage. I finished cooking, ate and went to bed.

Sunday morning while changing the bandage, the bleeding started again with a fury. I wanted to wait until Monday when I could see my doctor so I wrapped it tightly again, took a Percocet and applied pressure to stop the bleeding…again. Needless to say I didn’t get any tree trimming done, but I did get to watch most of the Seahawks game as I slid in and out of consciousness. Sunday evening I took off the outer bandage to asses the situation and found fresh blood. All day long I had actually been bleeding lightly, which was probably the case the preceeding night as well, so I threw in the towel and decided to go to the ER.

Fortunately, Sunday evening was the perfect time to go to the ER as I was taken in immediately and on my way home and hour later. They treated me by applying Gel Foam which they press firmly into the freshly cleaned wound and holding it there for 10 minutes. What ever happened to stitches…or at least anaesthesia? Damn that shit hurt!! Even another Percocet didn’t help after that and I spent the entire night tossing and turning, with a throbbing finger and listening to the winds gusting through the trees with such force they even drowned out Mark’s snoring. Then, sometime around 4:00 this morning I had a thought…

Where did my fingertip go?